Turning your self love and compassion inward first
Many of my clients are healers, and one thing that always stands out to me is that they have such a strong sense of compassion for others, often friends and family. This is a wonderful quality and generally makes the world a better place. Yet, this often shows a hidden deficiency of self love.
For some, especially natural caretakers, parents and those in the healing professions, the sense of compassion is so strong that they develop a “runaway heart.” They feel so much love and compassion for others that they agree to do all kinds of things that can leave them feeling depleted and exhausted. I hear the phrases “but it’s such a good cause” or “but the person really needed my help” over and over again. Often, they put themselves last and everyone else first. They will answer a request for help if their heart is touched without thinking of the consequences to their own lives.
A strong sense of compassion needs to be balanced. The best way to do this is to take that amazing sense of love and compassion and first turn it inward towards the self. If we really feel self love and self compassion first, we will think differently before agreeing to perform another favor. We are more in tune with what we really want to do and what resonates with our own desires and priorities.
Self love inevitably leads to having healthy boundaries with others, which means knowing when to say no. Boundaries are an important part of self empowerment, and putting ourselves first can never be selfish.
Once self love and healthy boundaries are in place, often we see that many people in our lives find their own solutions to issues without needing our intervention. This leads us to the important spiritual principle of honouring other’s paths and their free will.
It is worth noting that focusing on others often means that there is a healing issue the person is trying to avoid. It can seem much easier to save others than to deal with our own stuff.
So the best strategy for a runaway heart? Of course it will vary according to the person but a good start is to turn the love and compassion inward first, develop healthy boundaries and honor other’s paths and choices.
Follow me on Facebook here.
Subscribe to my newsletter here.